


Nightmares

by Akira10



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied Relationships, M/M, Nightmares, SHEITH - Freeform, Shiro (Voltron) is a Good Boyfriend, TIred Keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-30 20:14:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15758895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akira10/pseuds/Akira10
Summary: Ever since that day in where he brought Shiro back, ever since that day in where he fought with his clone… There hasn't been a single night in where he didn't have nightmares, no matter what he did, no matter how tired he was, every single night he would have a nightmare, each worse than the other.One night he saw Shiro died, he saw him died in so many ways that he couldn't count them anymore. One night he failed to catch him when he was falling into the void, another one, he wasn't fast enough to push him away when some debris was falling right on top of him.And finally, three nights ago, he was the one killing Shiro in his dreams.He hasn't sleep since then.





	Nightmares

He would never admit it, no matter how many times everyone would ask him about the bags under his eyes or how he seemed to be losing weight lately, he would only dismiss it, blame it on his training, and blatantly ignore their questions.

Eventually and after some weeks they simply stopped asking, some of them would keep on staring at him with worried looks in their eyes; but he if he had to be honest, he preferred it that way, it made it easier to ignore.

Ever since that day in where he brought Shiro back, ever since that day in where he fought with his clone… There hasn't been a single night in where he didn't have nightmares, no matter what he did, no matter how tired he was, every single night he would have a nightmare, each worse than the other.

At the start he would remember the words Shiro’s clone said to him, whenever he woke up after his dreams he would have to convince himself that they weren't real, that that wasn't how Shiro really thought; maybe a part of him was still trying to convince himself of that. He still couldn't believe how things have changed with him those lasts months.

Another night he saw Shiro died, he saw him died in so many ways that he couldn't count them anymore. One night he failed to catch him when he was falling into the void, another one, he wasn't fast enough to push him away when some debris was falling right on top of him.

In every single one, Shiro died because of him, because he was slow because his legs refused to move. They only kept in getting worse and worse, more gruesome than the one the night before.

It kept on being like that until three nights ago… That night, he was the one who killed Shiro in his nightmare.

He hasn't slept since then.

“Come on…” He whispered as he saw how the coffee was pouring onto his cup. “Come on…” His feet anxiously moving, the sound of his shoe hitting the floor echoing in the empty kitchen.

The first day he dealt with it easily, he was able to distract himself with training and with some occasional missions, he was used to being tired, so that wasn't a big problem. The second and third day went relatively well, but he could feel how his body was starting to feel heavier and how hard it was to keep his eyes open, he was able to keep on going by drinking all the coffee he could find, but even that was starting to lose its effect.

But no matter how bad his own body felt, he wouldn't fall asleep, as soon as his eyes were closed the image of Shiro in his knees, with blood flowing out of this mouth...

He could bear it all, the tiredness, the emotional damage, the worried stares, the loss of sleep, but there was something, someone that he couldn't deal with.

“K-Keith.” He flinched after hearing the voice from behind him.

_Shiro…_

He has been trying to avoid him for weeks now, after his last nightmare he wasn't even trying to hide it. How could he even talk with him after what happened in his nightmare? How could he even stare at him at his eyes when the guild was killing him inside? How could he see Shiro when the only thing on his mind would be that image of himself thrusting that sword until his chest?

“Keith.” The man repeated as he put his arm on his shoulder trying to get his attention. _Shiro, please…_ “Can we…”

“I… I need to go.” He turned away from his reach, ready to leave. He couldn't talk with Shiro like this, not with how much of a mess his mind was.

“Keith, I…” Shiro grabbed his arm before he could get farther away. A slight shiver went through his body; Shiro noticed it and relaxed his grip, but he didn't let him go, they both knew he would run away if he did. “I… I'm sorry, I… Can we talk?”

He could feel how worried he was just by the tone of voice, hell, he could even visualize the expression he must be making, he was sure that he was misunderstanding his behavior, probably thinking that it was because of something he did or because of their new relationship... 

More than anything else in the world, he hated making Shiro worried, but this was one of those moments in where he couldn't help it, he would clear all of his misunderstandings once his mind was back to normal, because he would get back to normal, right? 

“Allura asked me to go and see her.” He whispered, his face still avoiding seeing him. “I have... To go… Sorry...” He wasn't used to lying to Shiro and they both knew that well. 

"Keith, please…. Let's talk." His tone was so heartbreaking, Shiro only had to press him a little bit and he would listen, that was something else they were aware of. "I'm begging you."

And that was it for him. For years he has been trying to make sure that Shiro didn't suffer, but if he was the one causing the suffering, how would he be able to bear it? 

"S… Shiro…" He finally turned back to see him, and by how his expression changed he probably didn't look that great. Not that he was expecting any other reaction. "I'm oka…" 

But before he could even his sentence Shiro had already pulled him into a hug, his hand pulling him so close to his chest that he could hear the faint beating of his heart. 

“You don't have to pretend.” He whispered next to his ear. “At least not with me, you know?” He chuckled a bit. “Just tell me what is happening to you, let me help you.” 

_Just stay like this._ But the words didn't come out, instead, he slowly returned the hug, focusing on the faint beating of their hearts that were slowly matching their pace and to the calm breathing on his ear, if he stayed like that he was sure that he would be able to fall asleep peacefully. 

But if he did, wouldn't the nightmares return? That mere thought was enough to pull him back to reality. Slowly he let go of Shiro and before he could try to break the hug, the man pulled him closer.

"Keith please." He whispered. And finally, he nodded. 

He didn't notice when they arrived at Shiro's room, or when did the older man make him sit on his bed while he sat next to him. He knew that Shiro brought him there in order to make things more comfortable for him and while he was grateful it really didn't make it easier 

Shiro didn't pressure him, he only caressed his hair, his eyes with the kindest look on them that he has ever seen. He would wait patiently until he was ready to speak, that was the kind of man Shiro was, the man he had fallen for a long time ago. 

Maybe just a few minutes passed with them staying silent, but for him, it felt like an eternity. “After you came back…” He started, not really sure where he wanted to go with it. “I…” His eyes were focusing on his clenched hands. “I kept on having these nightmares… They... They're about you… I… I have seen you die Shiro…” 

All those dreams, all those times he couldn't save him, all those nights in where he could only sob alone in his room, they all came back to him at that moment. 

“They're horrible… I'm so close, you know? I'm right in front of you but my legs won't move. I'm just there… Standing… Watching… And I can't do anything…” 

He felt so impotent, so useless, just like how he felt when he was back at the Garrison and he heard the news of Shiro dying. 

"I… I even… I was even the one killing you one time…" His eyes finally meet his, the tears rolling down his face. "Shiro, I killed you... With these hands… I…" He couldn't speak anymore, his words quickly became incomprehensible sobs. "Shiro…" The only thing he could say was his name, and so he kept on repeating it again and again. 

_I'm so sorry Shiro…_ He wanted to apologize so much, but the words didn't come out, instead, he only hid his face with his hands and cried bitterly. 

“Keith…” Shiro said warmly as he caressed his hair. “Look at me, Keith…. Look at me, baby.” But it was only until he calmed down a bit that he finally looked at him. 

Shiro smiled at him before pressing their foreheads together. “I'm here, right?” He nodded slowly. “You can feel me, right?” Shiro grabbed his hand and he pressed it against his cheek. “It’s because you saved me, Keith. I'm here because of you, you know?” This time a few minutes passed before he finally nodded.

“You don't have to bear that by yourself. You have always been there for me, haven't you? Won't you leave me be there for you as well?” He nodded a little bit, but he was sure that Shiro noticed it. “I love you, you know that?” He didn't nod this time. A part of him still couldn't believe that. He didn't deserve Shiro. “Keith. I love you more than anything in this world.” Shiro put some distance between them so he could look at him in the eyes, his two hands grabbing his face in place while his thumbs were cleaning the remaining tears. “I love you so much, baby.” 

“Me... Me too.” He whispered as some more tears came out of his eyes just to be cleaned by Shiro's fingers. “I love you too.” That was real. 

Shiro smiled before giving him a warm kiss on his forehead. “I'm here for you, okay?”  And finally, he nodded. 

That night, he slept on Shiro's arms, hugged by his warm embrace. And for the first time in weeks, he didn't have any nightmares.

**Author's Note:**

> This has been the first thing I have written in almost a year, so you guys have no idea how many mixed feelings I have with this one, and looking back at it I wish could have done some things different, but more than anything else, I'm so glad that my first work after such a long time is about Sheith, I'll be so happy if at least someone enjoys this!
> 
> I also have a tumblr if someone wants to come and have a chat!  
> [ My tumblr!](https://akira-mess.tumblr.com)


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